When is the right time to have a baby?


Is there an ideal time in life to have a baby? Many people have their varied opinions. Some say to wait until you are financially secure. To wait until you own your own house – and make sure it has multiple bedrooms so bubs can have his own room. Wait until you have saved enough money to go on maternity leave and buy all the baby gear like a cot, car seat and pram.

In Christian circles I hear often that couples should wait for at least 2 years after marrying to have a baby to focus on strengthening their marriage first.

Some may be waiting to get their health in balance. To lose 30kg to give the baby the best chance of being healthy.

I’ve read a holistic health book that said babies need to be spaced apart at least by 3 years or your baby is at risk of being malnourished and their brain will not fully develop. – This is not true! I know many babies (including my own) who are spaced closely together and are very smart and healthy and not at all malnourished.

Most of this advise is convincing and intelligent. It may be sensible and even wise.

But there is wisdom that is of the world. And then there is wisdom that comes from the Lord. We would be truly wise to choose the latter.

It is never really convenient to have a baby. It’s a sacrifice of pure love and laying down ones life for another. So if you’re seeking convenience, then it’s never a good time to have a baby. There is much pain and sacrifice involved with bringing children into the world, but those who do it anyway realise the deep joy, fulfillment and blessing it also brings.

But is there a right time to have a baby in your life? Is the question of this post.  The truly right time must line up with Gods word. Let’s look at two of the right times when it’s best to have a baby.

  • When you are married. A marriage union between a man and a woman is the ultimate place for a child to be raised. It is within this family unit that the child will thrive and grow the way God planned. Sure, children will adapt to many different situations,  like single parenting or with a grandparent, but the ideal place for a child to be raised is with two parents who are married.


  • When both husband and wife are in union with the decision to have a baby. As wives we need to honor our husbands as they lead and guide our family. My husband needs to be in agreement with me to have a baby or I am going against the very thing God created for me as a wife – to serve and respect my husband. If the wife wants to have a baby but the husband doesn’t yet, then the wife must pour out her heart to her husband. If he is still firm in not wanting a baby, then take a step back and uplift the situation in daily prayer for yourself, your husband and your family and future family.

 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.Ephesians 5:24

If I look back over the last several years of my parenting. If I had waited until the worlds definition of ‘the right time’ to have a baby then I probably wouldn’t have had any children at all yet! I still don’t own my own my own home and haven’t had a lot of money to buy them lots of stuff. But children don’t need lots of stuff. They need a loving home with discipline, acceptance, tenderness and security.

So is there a wrong time to have a baby? I would say that if the mother has a serious medical condition that would be life threatening to her or the baby if she were to become pregnant. Then it would be sensible to look after your health for the sake of yourself, your husband and other children you may have. There is nothing wrong with taking a break from having babies while you work through some health problems, physical or mental.

Children don’t need their own bedroom either. Sharing a room with siblings produces character and teaches children how to mind another’s property, think of other’s needs (not turning the light on in the early hours of the morning and waking their brother). It can be a special bonding time where siblings chat into the night about their fears, joys and dreams. It can even keep them accountable to do the right thing and not get into trouble from sinning while alone in their bedroom.

The Lord will provide for our baby. There is no need to worry about having enough money to have a baby. Jesus said that when we pray to ask the Lord to…

‘Give us this day our daily bread’, (Matthew 6:11)

The Lord doesn’t give us everything we need for the years to come, or for next month or next week but if we ask Him…

He will provide everything we need – food –  clothing – shelter – love and much more – TODAY. One day at a time. It’s a matter of having faith for His provision.


We were able to purchase this new table recently which was a huge blessing for us! The table we had before was much smaller. I found it amusing that at lunch time the other day both girls insisted on sitting RIGHT next to baby Willow! They don’t worry about the big table they just want each other.

Children do adapt to the family God puts them in. And whether they have everything all set up for them – a house, a bedroom, a savings account, etc. – is irrelevant. It doesn’t matter if they are born closely together or spaced exactly three years apart. It is not a mistake that they are born and if it is the Lords will, they will grow and thrive regardless.

Blessings, Peta

P.S I want to mention women who are in the situation when it is the right time to have a baby but they are struggling to get pregnant or carry a baby to term. My heart goes out to you. The Lord has not forgotten you. Keep praying and believing.






Why we intentionally decided to have a large family.


Our 5th baby Willow – I can’t imagine life without her.

Not everyone desires to have a large family. Actually it’s becoming less and less common in this century. And I also realise that some couples desire to have lots of children but, because a whole huge number of reasons, may be unable to.

It’s funny how when you have more than the average number of children (1.2) that people suddenly seem to think that it is their business to ask if the couple uses contraception.

“Haven’t you worked out what causes that yet?” Is one cringe worthy comment I’ve been receiving since I was pregnant with our third child. Most likely because when I was pregnant with our third child I also had a 2-year-old and a 6 month old baby. I try not to let these comments bother me, they are often meant well and often the person saying it just doesn’t really know what to say.


Our first three babies are now aged 4, 5 and a half and 7.


Like most couples do, Luke and I talked about how many children we would love to have before we were married. We thought 4, maybe 6. But as the years went on and we dove deep into research about what God’s word says about having children our thoughts and convictions began to change.

Psalm 127 v3-5

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord,
the fruit of the womb a reward.
Like arrows in the hand of a warrior
are the children of one’s youth.
Blessed is the man
who fills his quiver with them!
He shall not be put to shame
when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.

The Bible is pretty clear that it is important to have children if we can. Children are a blessings and gift and they are our heritage. And the barren womb is something to weep over.

But how can you tell if your quiver is full? This is a pretty huge question.

Is it even Biblical to use contraception? How can we decide who, how many, and when children come into this world? This is why often Christian couples decide to leave their family size and spacing in the hands of our sovereign Lord. And this is what Luke and I decided to do when I was pregnant with our first baby. We soon discovered that I have been blessed with super sonic fertility! *laughs! Even while full-time breastfeeding my little baby boy I was pregnant again 5 months postpartum. Sadly this baby was found on a scan to be a “blighted ovum” and I miscarried at 7 weeks. I was pregnant again within a few months and gave birth to a big beautiful bouncy boy. A baby daughter soon followed 16 months later. I then had 3 children ages almost 3, 16 months and a newborn. We had a busy time caring for these little 3. I’m so thankful that I had a lovely mums group during this time that I went to every Friday morning and these ladies were very encouraging to me and my three little ones.

When my baby girl was around 8 months old I was pregnant again, but yet again had a heart wrenching miscarriage, this time at 12 week along. I had a scan at 8 weeks along and there was a 8 week old baby there on-screen with no heart beat. The doctor offered me another D&C operation to remove the baby but I declined this time and went home and waited an anxiety ridden 4 weeks for the baby to be delivered at home.

Life gets hard and what then? We still trusted God with all our hearts to shape our family the way He sees fit. But we were weary and wearing thin. We prayerfully decided to space our pregnancies with non abortive methods of contraception. I can’t take the pill either as my body has awful side effects from the artificial hormones. I  have never felt right about the pill because some forms are abortive, which I am very against. I am entirely pro-life. We have also decided against doing anything to permanently end our fertility.

We kept having babies, just spaced apart a little. We have been blessed with two more full term healthy pregnancies both girls. We feel so incredibly blessed to have our children. My heart keeps increasing with each new child born into our family.


Pregnant with baby number #4 in 2014  – Holly.

It’s hard to not let fear control whether we have more children or not. For us, one of the fears we have struggled with is having the finances to care for our brood. But this is where we have exercised our faith in our God the provider.

Not long after our 5th baby Willow was born I began thinking about money and I went down that destructive thought pattern of all the “what ifs” and began having a panic about how we were going to pay for schooling and driving lessons and our daughters weddings! Sometimes swirling thoughts can overwhelm me! But instead of entertaining these thoughts for too long I prayed and gave it all over to God – I put my complete trust in him. That same afternoon He led me to read this scripture during my quiet time;

Psalm 37 v 25 – 26

“I have been young and now am old. And in all my years I have never seen the Lord forsake a man who loves him; nor have I seen the children of the Godly go hungry. Instead, the godly are able to be generous with their gifts and loans to others and their children are a blessing.”

As I look at the beautiful children of the couples of the church we are now attending I imagine what it would be like if they had decided to stop having children after they had their second baby. (One family has 5, another 8, one 10 and one couple has 11 children!) There would be no one in the choir, all their smiling faces, eternal souls, witnesses for Christ, wouldn’t be here.

I met the eldest child of the family with 11 children a few days ago. She is now grown, married and has a baby of her own. I asked her what it was like to be the eldest of eleven. She says it was busy and often noisy, but she wouldn’t change it for anything. She adores all her younger siblings.

It’s easy for us to just follow the crowd and do the norm of society but I encourage you to be prayerful and dive into the scriptures today and read and learn more of the blessings of children.


Blessings, Peta.