What to Expect When You’re Still Expecting: Comfort for the overdue mum

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A rare treat: Out to lunch with Luke, 3 days overdue with baby#5

As of this writing I am 4 days overdue with my 5th baby. Out shopping this week the lady at the counter of the health food shop asked when my baby is due. When I replied that my baby was due a few days ago she gave me one of those looks. You know, “what are you doing standing here, shouldn’t you be in the hospital?” kind of looks. I tried to find it amusing. This is not the first time I’ve seen my due date come and go. With my second baby I went to 42 weeks and 2 days before I finally gave in to the doctors to have labour induced. My 3rd baby, I was a few days overdue before being induced and with my 4th baby I went to 10 days overdue before agreeing to be induced.

In this post I’d love to share with you:

  • How I feel when I’m overdue
  • What’s up with due dates anyway
  • Why I’m against being induced
  • Ways to cope while waiting for baby to come

The anticipation leading up to the end of pregnancy can be crazy! You have waited 9 months (3 months short of a year!!) for this baby. You’ve watched your belly (and the rest of your body) expand until you are feeling like a beached whale. You are excited and perhaps a little nervous about meeting your little one and how the birth will unfold.

The weeks leading up until birth I usually have lots of contractions (Braxton Hicks) and also cramping or an ache in my lower back and abdominal. Similar to what you might feel when your period is approaching, if you’ve ever had period pain. Sometimes these ‘practice’ contractions will come so regularly that I could time them and are intense enough that I need to stop what I’m doing and breathe through them. With my last pregnancy I even went to the hospital …twice…thinking I was in labour only to be sent home again feeling very discouraged and a little embarrassed. I get excited when I have all these contractions and I go to bed hopeful – only to wake in the morning with the contractions gone and no real labour in sight. It can get really discouraging and emotionally exhausting. It’s hard to plan ahead when I’m overdue. I feel like a can’t make a meal plan because I don’t know when the baby will come so I just end up planning one days meals at a time. I don’t like to go out much either when I’m overdue because I’m feeling sore and I get worried about going into labour when I’m a while away from home. I often get emotional during this time, partly because of hormones and also because I’ve just had enough. “Maybe I’ll be pregnant forever…”

But I’ve done this enough times now to know that my baby will have a birthday and it’ll be sooner than I think.

So what’s up with due dates anyway? Not many women give birth on their actual due date, they are all approximate and you really shouldn’t worry if your baby doesn’t come on your due date. I have really been enjoying listening to podcasts and periscopes by Kristin from Natural Birth and Baby Care in the past few weeks. She has a great video posted up on her website about due dates and why we shouldn’t get too worried if we carry our babies past them. This post is all about going over due, the pressure of a due date and how induction can be dangerous.

Speaking of induction, I’m against being induced because it’s unnatural. It can have all kinds of unwanted side effects and often one intervention can lead to another. If labour doesn’t begin within 4 hours of the doctor breaking your waters then this can lead to a hormone drip which causes unnatural contractions. This can lead to epidurals, and if labour is still not progressing it can lead to a C-section. This could have all been prevented by just waiting until the mum’s body was ready and letting labour come on naturally. The doctors at my local hospital are very strict on not letting you go more than 7 days past your due date because of risk of problems that can happen to the placenta and the fluid around the baby. But I managed to talk my doctor into letting me go 9 days past. It’s not nice feeling pressured into being induced. I really don’t see how waiting another few days will make a difference if the baby heart rate is strong and the baby seems happy.

The best way I’ve found to cope with going post dates I’ve found is all in my attitude. If I make a conscious decision that I’m going to stay positive and enjoy these last few days and weeks of my pregnancy then it makes so much difference to how I handle each day. I try to remain hopeful and wake up each morning thinking “today could be the day I meet my baby.” Then I go on with the day as normal and in between resting I shuffle around the house getting last minute things ready for the baby and getting the children through their daily routine. It helps to keep my mind occupied and to stay as busy as I can without going overboard then the hours and days go by quickly. My worst times being overdue with past pregnancies have been when I have mentally just given up. I grew so tired of being pregnant  that in my mind I just gave up and decided I was going to just lay in bed and mope around until the baby came. I can tell you it made for a loooong and miserable last few days and weeks and I don’t recommend doing this! This time around I decided that I wont be miserable and I’ve enjoyed extra snuggles and stories with my children and especially 20 month old Holly – because she wont be the baby of the family for much longer.

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Out with Luke on a little ‘baby moon’ 3 days overdue with baby #5. Notice the pillow under my arm! I carry a pillow with me everywhere to sit on when I’m this pregnant because I’m getting rather sore down there. There is a giant baby sitting on me after all.

I really believe diet plays a huge part in how you feel when heavily pregnant. When I eat a nutrient dense diet I feel so much better and have more energy than when I eat sugar and processed foods.

Whenever I begin to become anxious, I look to the Lord for comfort. I pray and usually get Luke to pray for me. I also like to write prayers in my journal.

Keep shuffling on overdue mum, you are doing well. Though the days may seem long, when you look back on this time it will seem like an instant. Keep looking on and imagining your baby’s sweet face and soft skin and that intoxicating newborn smell. It really wont be long.  Rest up as much as you like and plan to do something fun and simple with your family.

 Blessings, Peta

 

 

 

 

 

I have a house full of little people! – How I’ve learned to manage

IMG_0253What is my everyday life like with 6 and 5 year old boys and 3 and 19 month old girls? Oh, and I’m 2 weeks away from adding a newborn to the mix too! Well…messy, of course, but organised. It’s organised mess. Messy because small children get about the house like sticky tornadoes and organised because, I have a plan. I love our household. I adore every one of my children and feel so incredibly blessed to have them in my life. Having this many children in such a small space of time has forced me to learn about organisation (I’m naturally a relaxed – go-with-the-flow messy person) It has forced me to learn about homemaking and how to master skills like doing laundry and cooking (when I left home I didn’t even know how to use a washing machine.) It has forced me to learn how to ignore what I know I can’t get done. And has taught me to surrender my to do list to the Lord then just breathe and rely on him for wisdom in many situations I thought I couldn’t possibly handle.

Ultimately because of these four (soon to be five) precious little people the Lord has given me to care for – I am becoming a better person. The Lord is using many small children to help shape me more into the likeness of Christ. I am truly humbled.

A few years ago when I was pregnant with my first baby I read an article about keeping house when you have small children. I soaked up all the wisdom and experience from this mum of 6 and her words have helped me greatly in the last few years. The mess in the house can get overwhelming if you let it get to you. Only people who have lived with a curious toddler can understand just how quickly a house can go from spotless clean to a chaotic disaster just in one morning alone. The more children you have – the more the mess also multiplies. And I don’t just mean toys…there are all kinds off mess. Just tonight I walked into the bathroom after my 3 year old had used it. There was a trail of toilet paper across the floor, soap covering the entire sink and dripping onto the floor and some suspicious brown stuff all over the sink.

“Is that poo all over the sink” I called out…

“Yep.”  a little voice called back, obviously feeling quite proud of themselves for how thoroughly they washed their hands.

Young children don’t mean to be so messy – they just are, they can’t help it. Our job is to love them anyway, don’t get upset, just get in there and clean it up. They will learn, they will grow.

Back to the article I was saying about – the advice this lady gave me was that while you have small children and no older children the best way to keep up with the housework is to focus on three main areas that are necessities to keeping a household functioning.

  1. Meals

  2. Dishes

  3. Laundry.

If you can learn to keep up with these three household tasks and learn to do them well then your busy house full of little people will survive and thrive through this time. If we can do these three things then we’re laughing. All the other things will get done at some point or another. Just let go and try to stop fretting.

  1. Meals are important and top of my list because we all need to eat. I like to prioritise meals and everything to do with making them. Like meal planning, shopping, writing lists and I have a set time everyday – 4pm- where I stop whatever I’m doing and I devote that time to cooking a healthy meal for my family.
  2. Dishes are important because we need clean plates, bowls and utensils to eat with and clean pots and pans to cook with. So I try to do the dishes after every meal before I move on to the next activity we have planned for our day. My husband is the BEST dish washer in the world. When I’ve been having one of those days where it feels like I’ve been running around the house putting out fires, he will come home and wash ‘Mount Dishmore’ until every last one is clean. I love that guy.
  3. Laundry is up there in the important list because we all wear clothes. Like everyday. Six people wearing clothes everyday, plus toilet trainers who go through multiple sets of clothes a day, not to mention wet beds = washing piling up quickly! The best thing I have learned; is to do 2 (often more) loads of washing everyday – except Sunday. That is my rest day. I fold a basket of laundry and put it away every afternoon that I’m home when my toddler is napping and my other children are doing their maths or reading lesson on the computers. That way the laundry monster never gets too huge and scary. It’s rarely completely finished. But seriously, it’s not even possible to have the laundry completely caught up unless we all walked around naked for a day. So I just work on it a bit each day and this seems to work best for me at the moment. IMG_0394

If you are a mum to one small child or have a three story shoe rack at the back door like I do – be encouraged. Your house doesn’t have to look like an article from ‘House Beautiful.’ That is a set up photo shoot. And this is real life. Real life with small children is messy. Lets embrace the mess, love our children and try our best to enjoy this stage of our lives because little kids are so cute and so much fun!

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Blessings, Peta

 

 

37 weeks!

I am 37 weeks along with our little baby girl who we are super excited to meet!

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I’m feeling large limbs now squirming about, I can’t wait to hold her on the outside and touch her butter soft baby skin. I’m getting to the last few weeks of pregnancy where things begin to get harder for me. The symptoms I’m having are; fatigue – tiring out quickly. Braxton hicks contractions coming several times a day. Pain under my ribs  – I think there may be a limb there! Needing to pee ALL THE TIME. Aching legs and needing to sit down a lot. I began stacking on weight super quick so the past few days I’ve been working harder at avoiding sugar. Clothes that I’ve been wearing comfortably for the past few months are now too small. Thanks to Ebay and the opp shop I’ve updated my tops, leggings and a few dresses in the next size up to get me through the next few weeks.

I’ve got a nursing cover coming in the mail from Ebay for feeding baby modestly in public. I’ve never used one before, I’ve just used blankets if I’m in an awkward public place and need to breastfeed or I’ve just fed my babies in the parents room if there is one. I’m looking forward to trying a proper nursing cover out that wont slip down or make my baby hot while I’m trying to feed.

We had a tour of the maternity ward of the public hospital we’ve chosen last week. Luke came with me and our youngest 3 got to have a look around too. It’s really small, but the rooms look comfortable enough. I’m hoping for a natural hospital birth. I’m not keen on hospitals but, all my others were born in the hospital and I’ve never been game enough (or had the opportunity) to have a home birth. There are no special birthing centres anywhere near us so a public hospital is as good as we’ll get I think.

Today I had an appointment with the doctor and my belly is still measuring 3-4 weeks smaller then my dates so I’ve been sent to have yet another scan to check up on baby’s growth in a few days. Hopefully she’s still growing well.

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The gorgeous and a little cheeky – Holly – now 19 months old. This will be the fourth time I’ve been chasing a toddler while heavily pregnant!

Despite all the aches and pains I am still trying hard to keep a positive attitude – how I think REALLY effects how I feel and my ability to cope. I pray every day and the Lord is faithful and he walks with  me through every hour of every day. In Him I find true rest.

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Blessings, Peta